Sunday, 13 August 2017

The story of my Life 2: The black cloud

I was growing up, now in my late teens! It was a new phase, and I think at this moment we become more curious and more aware of everything around us! I was no different. I started to look at my body and to see it with bad eyes. Suddenly I did not want to wear skirts, shorts, blouses, or anything that showed my body. I was very skinny and started to compare myself with other girls of my age. Girls who had a more “developed” body and this created complexes in me. Yes friends, my “enemies” during my adolescence were the complexes of my appearance.
It did not matter if I was told that my eyes were beautiful and expressive, that my smile was charming or my hair full and strong. That to my ears were just “loose parts” that made no difference at all! I thought my family was saying that to please me, and they were not being honest.

I started to give problems when it comes to getting dressed. I did not want to wear certain clothes that my mother thought I should wear. I just wanted to hide what I thought was ugly. I remember that I liked to dress up. I liked to buy new clothes, but was always very careful. No showing legs or clavicles! Why should I show my “crooked knee” (it was not), or my outstanding clavicle? That's how I spoke! The way I looked at me was not good! To make things worse, my cousin would call me “slim Olivia” and a friend of my sister said that I had the eyes of a frog because they were big, lol. Today I laugh, but at the time cried. How sad it is to be insecure!

Imagine that I even thought that I would never get married. What boy would look at me? As if it was not enough to be insecure, now I was also a complexed and shy girl. One problem brings the other. I did not like to be on the spot, I did not want to be the center of attention, I did not want everyone looking at me at the same time. The dream of many girls to be popular was far from being mine! Although I enjoyed participating in all the activities I did not want to call attention. That was like a burden I carried in my teenage years. There is nothing worse than not feeling good about yourself, not loving and not appreciating yourself. I did not want to feel inferior before other young people, but it was there. Every day it was there. And every day I was in my cocoon.
But at 15 something unexpected happened!
Wait to find out in the next post! Hold on to your curiosity!!!

Today I wonder how the devil works sneakily in the minds of the young girls to have them under the dominion of evil, oppressed and unhappy. And how friends and family should be careful with the words they say because they have no idea how these words will influence the behavior of the young woman and what she thinks about herself. Do you have or have you ever had these inner conflicts?

Today the Fast of Daniel begins. It’s a great opportunity for you to receive the Holy Spirit and to be free from all those feelings and thoughts that imprison you. Take advantage of this opportunity!


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