Wednesday, 9 August 2017

The story of my life 1: Creating Roots



photo: my sister (right) and I (left)

Hello dear ones,
Today I'm going to start telling you my story! I'll tell you a bit about my childhood so you can understand situations that I lived later on. Remember that I was not in the church yet. I only came to church when I was 16 years old.

I remember that I was a happy child, I had a family that loved me and looked after me very well. I had friends and did not lack anything, everything seemed to be in order. I was a normal child who smiled, played a lot; I felt loved and protected.
However, not everything was a sea of ​​roses. My parents had some problems in their marriage and these problems affected me. I did not like to see them upset with each other. It made me insecure and afraid that they could be separated. In fact just thinking about this possibility made me terrified. I could not imagine living without either one.
When I became a teenager, I started to understand more things and the world. I saw myself as a shy girl, afraid to express myself in front of strangers and insecure. It seemed like those problems had affected me more than I could imagine; in fact they began to influence the way I felt and my behavior. I tried to be an obedient girl, I studied hard, I never gave problems to my parents, etc.

I began to have a posture of “the peace maker.” If they fought I tried to intervene, calm them down, and bring peace around us. I always did everything to help my mother, even in the housework. I did not want to see her sad, and depending on me, she wouldn’t be. I think that in my subconscious I tried to make it up for her. Today I know that my insecurities and fears that lasted until I met the Lord Jesus occurred from this situation. Without knowing it, I was creating roots!
I remember that during the summer, we used to go on vacation. Those months were my favorite! I do not know why but during that time things got better between them, they seemed to be happier. That was all I wanted! So I had a lot of fun lol my heart was more calm and I felt safer.
I did not know how to handle problems. No child knows! A child just tries to adapt. But something was about to happen inside of me that would aggravate the situation. It was like a black cloud hovering over me! My teenager years did not come alone!

I'll talk about it in the next post!

Me at two or three years old

 Me at seven years old


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