Monday, 15 August 2011

A mother’s mission 4 – Favoritism

Sometimes unconsciously parents feel favoritism within their children, but its necessary to not allow the child to see that, because maybe you feel as if you identify with one more than the other, but still you should not show that to either child, this can take them to feel as rivalries and feel hate towards one another, because both of them deep down all they want is to be love and accepted equally.

Know when you are showing favoritism towards one child more than the other:

- In the way you treat both of them

- When you’re arguing you also defend the favorite child even though you know he or she is wrong

- When you speak to other about your children, you only mention you’re favorite child, your eyes almost shine when you talk about him or her, and you barely speak of your other child.

- You only complement and praise one, the other one can even do something good or pleasing but you never acknowledge it.

- You kiss and hug one more than the other

- When you buy something for them, you always pick the best and nicest for your favorite one.

These are some signs that you are showing favoritism within your own children, which will bring very painful consequences in the future for the child that feels less loved and even rejected by you.

Ask God to give you wisdom to never commit this mistake and to help you appreciate all of your children alike, they may not be alike but they’re all equally yours.

Rebekah was a good wife and mother to her twins, Jacob and Esau, but she showed favoritism towards Jacob. And for that very reason she created diverse strategies to manipulate the situations so that Jacob could receive his fathers blessing and not Esau, which was the firstborn and had the right to the blessing.

And just that way it happened, Isaac, in his final days without knowing gave the blessing to Jacob, which provoked physical distance between his own families.

Later on we also see that Jacob showed favoritism within his children as well, with his son with Rachel. His sons with Leah seeing this were possessed by so much jealousy that they even sold their brother Joseph into slavery. Observe at the awful consequences this all had.

It’s a sad story, but that until today it repeats itself. Be very careful with comparisons and favoritism, children can tell and this interferes with their growth and their intellectual development.


Anonymous said...

to solve this I think people should, have one child only.
England ,uk

Tendani said...

Thank you Mrs Tania, if we will not ask God for wisdom to raise our children, then this problem will never end but it will go from generation to generation.

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