The pastor always sought
the Holy Spirit in the meetings. Once when we went to evangelize an assistant
started talking about this subject. I was interested, however I did not think it
was possible. How can something so Holy and Pure dwell within me, full of
mistakes and sin? How is it possible to speak in tongues like the pastor? This
was something really supernatural and for sure only for very special people.
How would it happen to me?
Here was the answer to
why even though I had more than a year in the church I was not yet baptized
with the Holy Spirit! Simply because I didn’t believe! How can we achieve
something we don’t believe in? I can only receive what I believe in. Without
faith there is no miracle. I did not need to understand how it would happen, or
how God would do it. I just needed to believe and leave my emotion aside. One
thing I was sure: I needed a Savior, without Him I would continue lost. This
Word is very clear:
“Jesus answered, Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the
kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit.” John 3.5
There was no use to be
inside of the church and out of the Kingdom God. I was already baptized in the
waters, but I wasn’t yet born of the Spirit. When I believed that it was
possible for all who believe, then I saw my need. So I decided to seek Him with
all my strength. I remember that I fasted and prayed. I wanted to show God that
I really wanted Him more than anything else. In the summer of 1993 we went
camping. Every vacation we would go somewhere with my parents, but this year
was different. I would not turn away from my purpose. I remember that I’d wake
up every day at 6am, go to the beach, though it was still empty, and I’d seek
the Holy Spirit alone. The pastor held a meeting every Sunday at 6pm for the
assistants and the candidates, so I used to attended it.
In September, in one of
these meetings my answer arrived. Something supernatural happened and I received
the Holy Spirit! An immeasurable peace, joy, and an extraordinary force invaded
my being. From that day on I was sure that God was with me. I was not alone!
How wonderful! The assurance was the biggest sign! I was so happy that I felt
so powerful lol.
With the Holy Spirit in
my life, all the complexes of inferiority ended, all the negative feelings
about myself disappeared. I never had “problems” with my body again. I no
longer felt inferior than other people. My interior was transformed. The desire
to serve God was born. That young girl who did not want to be an assistant before,
now wanted to be used in His work. Of course I couldn’t imagine being a
pastor's wife. I only wanted to serve as an assistant and help people. In
addition to attending the meetings on Sunday morning, I continued to attend the
meetings on Sunday at 6pm. I wanted more! In the next post I'll tell you when I
was raised as an assistant.
Have you been baptized
with the Holy Spirit yet? What are you doing about it?
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