Thursday, 3 March 2016

Mother encourages, does not impose!

Hello dear friends, is everything alright? I read a comment that drew my attention a lot. A reader mentioned that she did not read the posts because the title did not say anything to her, since she is not a mother. But she was blessed because of what she read! Theses posts are not only for mothers but for children too, and it is also useful for those who do the work of God; after all don’t we have spiritual children?
I, myself, learn with each post I write. When I write, I meditate where I can improve as daughter, as a mother and as a servant. Today, I am going to talk about it, because I went through it with my little sister who it is like a daughter to me. Every time I wanted to impose my ideas, even my expectations related of what I wanted for her, I ended up frustrated. It is not because my motivations were wrong, but on the contrary I just wanted the best for her, but I would impose in a wrong way. Every time we force our children to be what we wish them to be, or to do only what we wish them to do; we are refraining them to develop emotionally and consequently they would not get their own personality. I have seen many mothers to impose to their children what they do not want to, only because they do not want to be judged by others. In the end, you are going to bring up your children for God, for yourself, or for others?
This lifestyle suffocates, you do not become free and neither do your children. Each child has his/her own individuality. Stop comparing your children with your friend`s children. They are unique and we should work on them by motivating them and not comparing them; that’s a huge mistake. We should teach, motivate but not obligate or impose. They are going to discover by themselves the results of not making good decisions. If you impose, you will never let him/her realize what he lost for not having done what you advise him to do, but did not impose! For example, you obligate your child to pray, to read the Bible, and go to church but he goes to church because you obligated him, but this desire is not inside of him; so he goes by imposition. Is it going to bring any results? It is better for you to motivate him so he can find out how good it is to go to church rather than make him go without understand why he is being obligated to go. This happens a lot in the teenage years. It is not worthy to be in arguments with your child. Do not forget that it is a matter of time for him to make his own decisions. So let’s motivate, encourage and have a balance. There are mothers who think that because they are in the church, their children already had their experience with God; and some even demand as if their children were baptized with the Holy Spirit already.
Maybe you are the kind of mother who always has availably to take care of the children of other mothers and pray for them. But, are you having the same care for your child? These are mothers who are always available for the church but they never take a good time to do what their children like. Do not forget that they look at more your actions more than what you say or preach. I am going to give you my own example. My son is only five years-old and it is obvious that I teach him the things of God. In the last Fast, I explained to him the meaning of it, and do you know what he answered me? “Mom, I am going to do it but I will not stop watching cartoons. I’ll do like this: I am going to stop watching what I like the most!” I didn’t said to him: “You’ll do it this way. You’re forbidden to watch cartoons.” No! I only said “it is ok my son, it is something between you and God. If you’re going to sacrifice only what you like, Jesus is going to honour you too.” I gave him freedom to choose; after all we cannot impose God to anyone, we can only pass Him on. And you know what happened? At night my husband and I always played TV musical programs, and preaching according to his age. During the 21 days he was listening to them and he even recorded himself singing full songs. But it was because we gave him the freedom to choose, maybe if we had imposed it, he wouldn’t have watched it. We motivated him, we didn’t impose it… Everything that is imposed does not bear fruits!
I am going to give a clear example! Did you force or obligated your husband to like you? No! It was something that was born naturally, wasn’t it? The same way our children have to be led to love God in a natural way that is not being imposed. Be the connection that your child needs to get closer to God. And never forget that the prayer is the most powerful tool we have by our side!
Mothers never forget one thing, independently if you have responsibilities or even a position in the church. You have a ministry. Do you what is it? It’s being a mother. God put it in our hands and we have to develop it, to be humble, to learn, and overall fearful to always seek God’s direction to be and to do what we know best! We will never be perfect mothers! But we can be better mothers each day! If it helped you, write here your comments! Be participative!
Sweet kisses!
Cátia Rubim


Anonymous said...

hello Mrs. i try not to impose my will on my toddlers but my husband is so impatient with them. i understand that he want them to be disciplined. but its not easy to find the same level with him. i also try not to take the kids side and on the other hand my husband is imposing his will strongly on them. what should i do?

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