Wednesday, 4 November 2015

Mother, what has been your priority?

Hello darlings, how are you?
Today, I am going to talk about something that those who follow my posts have already know about my testimony regarding maternity, and those who don’t know will have the opportunity to catch up.
Since I was a child, I had this dream with me; the dream of maternity.
When I got married, my husband and I wanted this very much, within one year of been married and talking to my husband about it, we thought it was the right time to make up our minds about the decision.
I was so anxious, in the end it was my greatest dream, and month after month for me it was a war of mixed feelings. But, months passed by and nothing happened, I visited a doctor to do the required medical tests.
Due to the medical tests were so rigorous, I had to wait for about 15 days but that time for me was like eternity.
News were not the best; I had no idea that there was an infertility problem.
Many times, we plan and believe we are self-sufficient, and when God allows that we just realize that without Him we can’t do anything.
And now, how to react to these news? Did you ever consider that our reactions before each desert we face and the result depends on our attitude? But at that time, I did not see or react like that, and I paid the price.
Instead, I got bitter, I learnt to complain, to murmur, and stop believing, to live with no dreams and feeling sorry for myself.
Imagine what I went through, I did not know that my attitude was making my desert to be even longer. That desert revealed what I was prioritizing inside of me, the dream of being a mother and not the dream of being one with Him.
God wanted to reveal to me, mould me, give an opportunity, because my attitude and position were not according to what He wanted and expected from me.
On that long desert where I was, only with Him, I had the opportunity of learning to hear and understand that my love for Him could not be conditioned to anything, I left that place with no children but more mature, stronger, more spiritual and over all I learned to Love Him for what He represents to me and not for what He can give me.
There, God could get all my attention, surrender, and confidence. It took me some time for me to understand it, because I was focused on what I wanted God do for me rather than what He had already done.
Many times, we easily forget about what God already did, so we focus on what He does not or on what we would like Him to do. We lose focus on what it is more important and sometimes we make our desert longer than it has to be.
To be continued…
Next week, I will share what happened to me and all I learnt with my experiences.
It is going to be very strong, do not miss it!!
I am going to post a picture of the living testimony.
Leave your comments, share and participate here, because with love I share my life with all of you, it is a pleasure to me when you to write back, I read each comment, I learn with all of you, and many times your comments inspire me to write my posts.
Sweet kisses
Catia Rubim


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