Wednesday, 16 July 2014

What holds you back the most? “Complexions”

As promised in last weeks post “What holds you back the most?” today I will be talking about complexions and how I overcame them.

Well, I was a normal happy child, I have always been thin but I never paid attention to that. My mother would always dress me as she thought best and I always thought I looked cute, jejeje; I didn’t have any problems with my appearance.
That changed when I became an adolescent, it was in that stage of my life that I began to compare my body with the bodies of the other girls my age. That was when I began the process of seeking my defects!

The bodies of the other girls would develop more than my own, I didn’t have any physical defect, I was simply thin, but after that moment of comparison I began to see myself with bad eyes and began to think that I was ugly and less developed, I didn’t understand why.

I was embarrassed of my thin legs, I didn’t like to use skirts nor shorts, I thought my collarbone was very big so I wouldn’t wear tank tops. After that I began to make it difficult on my mom when we would go shopping. What used to be a pleasure became a nightmare. I would go through the entire store and would think that nothing fitted me well, girls, I would make my mom walk, jejejej poor her!

I even had prettier clothes than my friends, but that didn’t make me happy, I wanted to have the body that they had.

I wouldn’t get tired of looking for my defects, even what people would compliment me on I would think was ugly, people would always tell me, “what beautiful eyes, so big and expressive” I would think, “I hate my bulging eyes”, the devil distorted everything in my mind. It didn’t matter that my family would say the contrary, what I thought was final, they were wrong. I used to think that they said it only to please me but that it was all a lie.

That made me feel inferior to the rest of the girls, I didn’t like myself, I wouldn’t accept myself as I was and that was my greatest problem.
The complexions brought along other things, I would get sad, insecure and some times I would even cry!

When I was 16 I began to go to church. That was when began to hear the teachings and with time I began to see myself differently.
To tell you the truth I began to focus more on my interior, my focus was no longer my body.
When I accepted myself, I loved myself as I was, I learned that I am not an outer shell, and stopped having bad eyes towards my appearance.
I continue to be thin, but I longer compare myself with anyone, I learned to value myself, and be more confident.
What God was giving me went beyond all of that, that I refused to not like me, and now everything had a new meaning, I was happy in my interior.
That was how I overcame my adolescent complexions, when I stopped comparing myself, I learned to love me and resolved my interior!

How about you my friend, will you make that decision or continue with complexions? I am anxious to read your comments.

I am leaving you a picture of when i was a little girl, so that you laugh a little. I am the one on the left, without a tooth, jejeje


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