Tuesday, 11 February 2014

Should I reveal my feelings?

 Hello Mrs Tânia, there is a guy who is my friend; we always talk about everything, except about the two of us, and I like him. I've thought about revealing my feelings to him, but I’m afraid it would appear as "devaluing" myself as a woman. What advice can you give me?

To say it or not to say it, that is the question! We are used to the fact that the man should always make the first move; he is the one who should say the way he feels about you but, what if you are the one liking him, how do you act in this situation?

In my opinion, if the woman never spoke to the guy, if she only knows him from sight, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go to him and reveal your feelings; that will scare him and you will be really sending the wrong message about yourself. Now, if you are friends, you know each other, then this depends a lot on the faith and the way of being of each person. If you like someone and you have the faith and the courage to reveal your feelings, go ahead; a good option is a mutual friend talk to the boy.

Do it with respect and sincerity, if you don’t say anything, or a third person, how will he know? He surely won’t guess.

Expressing what you feel isn’t shameful and it doesn’t mean that you are downgrading yourself.
Now, there's a catch! What, I think, devalues ​​a woman is when she is making advances to a man, offering herself, giving up. She doesn’t have the courage to say what she feels so she shows off, throwing fatal glances, which looks as if she will eat it him with her eyes; or, when he is around, she speaks loudly, laughs in an inappropriate way with the intention to draw his attention somehow; or also hitting on him, which is ugly, indiscreet and it makes you look cheap. Such attitudes make the guy think that you are offering yourself.

So it’s better for you to act with discretion in this situation and instead of trying to reveal your feelings in a wrong way, do as already we talked about above.
In this case, you already decide your life and don’t keep wasting your time, having illusions in something that has no future.

If he shares the same feelings as you, let him take initiatives moving forward, he must conquer you, ask you out, be detailed-oriented, call you. Don’t forget that the man is the hunter and he enjoys the challenge to conquer, let him do his part.


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