“Hello Mrs Tânia, there is a guy who is my friend; we always talk about
everything, except about the two of us, and I like him. I've thought about
revealing my feelings to him, but I’m afraid it would appear as
"devaluing" myself as a woman. What advice can you give me? “
To say it or
not to say it, that is the question! We are used to the fact that the man should always make
the first move; he is the one who should say the way he feels about you but,
what if you are the one liking him, how do you act in this situation?
In my
opinion, if the woman never spoke to the guy, if she only knows him from sight,
I don’t think it’s a good idea to go to him and reveal your feelings; that will
scare him and you will be really sending the wrong message about yourself. Now, if you are
friends, you know each other, then this depends a lot on the faith and the
way of being of each person. If you like someone and you have the faith and the courage to
reveal your feelings, go ahead; a good option is a mutual friend talk to the
boy.
Do it with
respect and sincerity, if you don’t say anything, or a third person, how will
he know? He surely won’t
guess.
Expressing what you feel isn’t shameful and
it doesn’t mean that you are downgrading yourself.
Now, there's
a catch! What, I think,
devalues a woman is when she is making advances to a man, offering herself,
giving up. She doesn’t have the courage to say what she feels so she shows off,
throwing fatal glances, which looks as if she will eat it him with her eyes; or,
when he is around, she speaks loudly, laughs in an inappropriate way with the
intention to draw his attention somehow; or also hitting on him, which is ugly,
indiscreet and it makes you look cheap. Such attitudes make the guy think that
you are offering yourself.
So it’s better for you to act with
discretion in this situation and instead of trying to reveal your feelings in a
wrong way, do as already we talked about above.
In this case, you already decide your life
and don’t keep wasting your time, having illusions in something that has no
future.
If he shares the same feelings as you, let him
take initiatives moving forward, he must conquer you, ask you out, be
detailed-oriented, call you. Don’t forget that the man is the hunter and he enjoys the
challenge to conquer, let him do his part.
0 comments:
Post a Comment