Thursday, 15 December 2011

Christian Dating Series 14- A sticky relationship

"I'm going out with this guy and we've been dating for 5 months now. When we began to date I knew he didn't like me enough, but still I accepted our relationship. We talk a lot but I still find myself very jealous. Recently he asked me to stop calling him, because he complained I call him too much. His boss even complained because I call too much. I became very sad because I am his girlfriend and I really like him. Is he right in telling me not to call and to just wait for him to call me? "

A sticky boyfriend or girlfriend is the person who is too attached, and he or she is possessive of the relationship. Generally, it's suffocating to the partner. Let's look at the problems from the root, having to call him all the time is a sign of insecurity, you want him to think about you, you want to remind him at all times that you exist and that you love him and you obviously expect the same from him. This is all really due to the fact that you began to date him without being completely sure about his feelings for you and because you feel he doesn't like you maybe as much as you like him. The only problem is that extremes are never good or healthy and jealousy never brings forth good results.

Like I've have mentioned in previous articles, the man likes the hunt and the chase of conquering, if the woman doesn’t allow him to do that then he will quickly loose interest because she is taking on his role.

You must know your value, if you feel the need to beg for attention and affection, something is wrong.

And in this case, you are being so exaggerated, call non-stop, so much so that his boss noticed it, which means you are also calling at inappropriate times that can endanger his job.

If he asked you to wait for him to call, then wait. This doesn't mean he doesn't like you, he simply doesn't want to be interrupted at work and he wants to be the one to go after you, let him miss you, then he will desire to look for you and call you, because your actions are just pushing him away even more.

It's difficult to deal with a sticky and jealous person who isn't sure of herself, who shows her weakness all the time and who doesn't demonstrate any trust, and on top of all of that you’re after him all the time suffocating him.

It's time to use your intelligent faith and stop allowing your emotions to speak louder than reason, men don't like to feel controlled, let him take the initiative, don't be after him too much. All that does is show your insecurities, let him do something to sweep you off your feet, if you call him too much he won't have the chance to call you, since he knows that soon you'll be calling anyway.

If you've seen a relationship like this, share your comments.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I would feel suffocated too.

Unknown said...

Hello ladies

I was like that in the beginning of my relationship...overly attached to my boyfriend. There was even a time that he told me that I was suffocating him and did not allow him time alone. I was very offended and felt like he did not love me and that he did not have the right to say that to me...his girlfriend. As a result this brought on a lot of arguments and insecurities in myself. Until the day that I decided that God should be first in my life. This year one of the challenges in Godllywood was to attend the Therapy of Love faithfully and this really helped me spiritually and in my love life. I made challenges with God that paid off big time :-) I no longer am that clingy person that I was. Even people around me notice that I know am an individual on my own and not dependent on my boyfriend. I was scared at first to break up with him and could not stand the thought of that. But now I have put it in my mind that whatever happens I know that God is with me.

To all the girls out there who are the way I was. Trust God, attend the Therapy and I promise you that God will help you. Believe in yourself and know that you don't need a human being to help you be fulfilled but you need God.

Kisses
Whaliza

Whaliza said...

Hello ladies

I was like that in the beginning of my relationship...overly attached to my boyfriend. There was even a time that he told me that I was suffocating him and did not allow him time alone. I was very offended and felt like he did not love me and that he did not have the right to say that to me...his girlfriend. As a result this brought on a lot of arguments and insecurities in myself. Until the day that I decided that God should be first in my life. This year one of the challenges in Godllywood was to attend the Therapy of Love faithfully and this really helped me spiritually and in my love life. I made challenges with God that paid off big time :-) I no longer am that clingy person that I was. Even people around me notice that I know am an individual on my own and not dependent on my boyfriend. I was scared at first to break up with him and could not stand the thought of that. But now I have put it in my mind that whatever happens I know that God is with me.

To all the girls out there who are the way I was. Trust God, attend the Therapy and I promise you that God will help you. Believe in yourself and know that you don't need a human being to help you be fulfilled but you need God.

Kisses
Whaliza

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