Friday, 28 October 2011

Christian Dating 5- Friends of the opposite sex

"I met a guy, he says he likes me and I like him. We're dating but we've broken up twice already. But he has a friend, whom he considers his best friend, she is really pretty, she is that very popular girl; well known by everybody, and he often looks at pictures of her. She is very nice to him and even says "I love you" to him, she says it's a friends love. But all this makes me feel inferior, this entire situation just hurts me deep down."

Let's be honest, a person who is in a relationship and continues to have a friendship with someone of the opposite sex will cause the boyfriend or girlfriend to become jealous, it's inevitable.

It's not that you can't have friends, but everything has it's limits, and proper place. With time as your friend continues to tell you "he loves you", your boyfriend will eventually not accept it, and with all his rights.

In a relationship, respect and consideration towards your partner is very important, if none of these exists then it's because genuine love doesn't exists between the two of you.

If you lead your friend on it's because in reality it's because you like the attention and you don't know how to respect your boyfriend or girlfriend. To talk to one another is one thing, but to give too much trust is another thing.

If you want your relationship to work, understand the point of view of your partner, keep in mind how he or she feels and respect them. Like we see in the email above, this girl is hurt with the situation, and she even begins to feel inferior, what is really happening is that she is feeling threatened by the presence of anther girl in her boyfriends life and because of the trust her boyfriend has in this other girl, without considering his own girlfriends feelings.

Be wise, because you don't have to take this kind of behavior, if he doesn't respect you now, he never will. Wait on Gd for the special person He has prepared for you, someone who will love you and respect you, you don't have to live with that kind of fear and pain.

There are moments in our lives that we must take drastic decisions, nothing in between such as " let's see if things get better" if God is showing you that he isn't the right person, be happy! It just means He is taking care of your future and your spiritual life.


Anonymous said...

Very strange but some people accept this lie, of being just friends. Thank you Tania. Am learning to open my eyes and not be blinded by emotions.

love you tonnes!

Jhoy said...

Yes,It's really true,I'm learning a lot to this Blog,about Dating,I need to be wise to taking care my Future and my Salvation.I will wait on God.Thank you Jesus ..
Thank you so much Mrs.Tania
Godbless you more.


Christian Dating said...

Friends with opposite sex cause a lot of jealousy in a relationship. thanks for the article, many will realize that fact.

Miss Jodies Blog said...

Is this topic connected with your education sphere or maybe is it mostly about your hobbies and free time?

Anonymous said...

I have never dated before and I just turened 21 yesterday, and I started dating just almost 2 months ago with an assistant that I have been knowing for almost 7 years since I started attending church. Am also an assistant. But the case is this that he has been talking to one particular girl who is younger than him, married and have two kids and he has known her longer than me but the problem is that she is not from the same faith and she is always txting him after 12 am and curious thing is that everything started short after we began dating, I dont want this anymore I mean I realy like him and he says the samething but he does not give me my place and makes me feel like am in battle with this total stranger that i dont even know her name since he said that they are just real good friends... i need an advice from this because I want him to see his mistake that is putting our relationship and even our salvation at risk. I just wish he was more humble to accept that, is very wrong doing that. Please help me...

Tania Rubim said...


You are a Woman of God, you have to respect and Love yourself first. Do not conform yourself with less.

There is no friendship between man and woman, because is easy to mix feelings.
What your boyfriend is doing is wrong, so you should tell the pastor whats going on, for the safety of his salvation.
Another thing, you have to make a decision, with intelligence, is this the man that you want for a comminment?

Think with your head, not with your heart,(marriage is forever) if you are seeing this now, imagine if you married him.?
He is not going to change because you tell him to change. If he doesn't have a marriage with God and fear God, don't expect much of him.

Your salvation is in risk if you take a bad decision. So my advice is that you let God take control of your sentimental life, don't give your life, future, youth life, your salvation, to someone, that doesn't deserve it,
Look for the Pastor and tell him what he is doing, for his and your own good, and you wont fall in the tramp of the devil. Be vigilant and protect your salvation. Remember is our most, precious, important Goal, our Salvation.

God bless you.

Ana REx said...

This may not sound fair, because it’s not

But did you know that you can be a guy’s dream girl...

I mean, you can literally check off every box on his “perfect woman” list...

But if you mess up this one thing, he’ll drop you the second another option comes along?

My friend James Bauer discovered this missing “secret ingredient” all men are constantly searching for in a woman.

And most women have no clue it exists because guys aren’t even aware of it.

We just KNOW when it’s missing.

===> The “Secret Ingredient” to obsessive love <=====

The really cool thing is, when you know how to give a man this “secret ingredient”...

It will send a shockwave of desire for you straight to his brain and he will HAVE to have you.

In fact, when you do this... watch his face light up, almost as if he’s just been zapped.

It’s that moment when he says to himself “Where have you BEEN all my life?”

Every woman should know this. Check it out here: ====> Why men leave “perfect” women... <=====

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