Wednesday, 15 December 2010

I returned - part 2

(my sister’s testimony continuation)

I am not embarrassed to say that I was left without strength, I felt alone, as if there was no one who could help me, and I often thought if only my sister was here with me, because by then she had just left to serve God on the altar far away from me.

I was upset because I wanted my sister whom had been my confident and my great love to be by my side, the problem is I didn’t know how to deal with the situation and instead of reaching out to God and bowing down to his feet my heart hardened. Our ignorance at times is so large that sometimes we think that God needs us for something, when in reality we are the ones who depend on Him completely. By this time I was no longer a helper anymore, because I was aware that I couldn’t do the Work of God with my heart the way it was.

I felt as if I was the worst creature alive because this wasn’t what I wanted. I had a few problems in my marriage, it wasn’t that our love grew cold, thank God that never occurred, but we no longer thought the same way.

Far away from God, far away from the church, with our hearts broken because it was hard for us to forgive ourselves, because we were going through all of these hardships far away from God and the price was to high to pay, we knew it didn’t end here though. We wanted very much to have a child when I received the news that I couldn’t have children, I felt my world come crumbling down and I felt as if all was lost. I wasn’t doing what I wanted most, which was to serve God and to top things off I couldn’t have children, like this, my heart no longer had feelings, it became as cold as ice. It felt as if this dessert had no end.

My beloved sister would always write to me and call me telling me to return to God. She never gave up, after hearing her talk I would always cry and after reading each letter I would be broken, but the pride and hardness in our heats and the spiritual immaturity don’t allow us to see things clearly. By acting this way all we did was extend our dessert and pain.

In the bottom of my heart there was a large nostalgic feeling for the presence of God and the church, but unfortunately I didn’t have the strength to go back. What makes me happy today is that I know he saw and heard my cries from the depths of my soul although I was so weak. His Word says that before the words even reach our mouth He knows what we are going to say, it amazes me how God loves us so much and how He never gives up on us!

But one day when I had hit rock bottom I thought, : “ I cannot live like this, stuck, for the rest of my life”. I prayed and asked God for His mercy and I cried out to Him with sincerity, and I began to tell my husband about how much I missed my life with God. At first he didn’t understand, but I told myself, “I won’t give up, I will go back and I’m going to win my husband again for Jesus.” It wasn’t easy, but my beloved God had a plan for us:

A marriage couple friend of ours one day ran into us while we were walking, we hadn’t seen each other in years, they were Christians and they asked us how was our relationship with God going, we immediately let our guard down and opened up to them, this couple was used by God, they helped us return back to the arms of God. It wasn’t easy, there was a lot of molding to do in our interior, lots of wounds in our soul and the only one who could heal them was Jesus, but little by little we began to strengthen and we were able to stand again and restore our relationship with Him.

Our reencounter with God was marvelous. We quickly went back to the principles that we knew pleased God, placing our tithes before God to be faithful to Him, because we were decided to please Him and we began to have our experiences with God once again. Until one day, after all this process that lasted years, the desire to return to the Universal Church, grew. To go back to where it all began with God and from the place we should have never left to begin with….

(To be continued)


ellie said...

It's when we hit rock bottom that we have the greatest chance to glorify God with our life. I can't wait for tomorrow.

Raquel said...

God's love is soo wonderful, He never gives up on us, He is alwasy ready to forgive us and take us into His hands.

I am excited to rread the rest of the story D. Tania

Anonymous said...

This Testimony is so powerful!! it really is, its amazing!! I cant wait to hear more
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Raisa Veras said...

This testimony is amazing. It's like, when you have the calling inside of you, no matter how hard you try to run away from it, you heart will always be in the altar.

Can't wait to read the rest.

Wiznelly said...

Really strong testimony sra. I agree its amazing the love God has for us ;-) always when we are down with no one there to depend on its the exact moment were we lean to God and its great to find comfort in him he is our strentgh, y nuestro consolador ;-) he never lives us xo.. (Wiznelly Suazo Alto Manahattan New York)

Erika said...

This testimony is strong and it also helps one to be always be firm with God because like you wrote God doesn't needs from one...we are the ones that need from Him and if we don't maintain the guard than life becomes a complete chaos without Him!

Edith said...

sometimes that is the hardest thing to do.. let someone else help you. but when one does it, the outcomes are amazing ^_^

Derlin said...


Tania said...

this is so sad but i see a happy ending coming :D Thank God He always kept strong enough to never leave His presence and His house. The thopught crossed my mind many times, but I always held on to the last bit of hop and love for Him inside of me, and He held my hand tight. Without God we are nothing.

Anonymous said...

This testimony amazes me sooo much how God just never gives up on us. But most of all you tertimony also serve as an expirience to me.

Thank you for sharing you have no clue how much this is helping me.

.::suLma::. said...

Wow, God can use anyone to reach us! This really goes to show God doesn't give up on us!

Maria said...

Wow,I have no words, very strong, it shows God's mercy and something so deep.

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