Friday, 26 August 2011

A Mother’s Mission -8- Divorce

Divorce is always difficult and causes pain, especially for the children because they desire to see their parents together and happy.

But when it does occur its necessary to know how to handle the situation. Normally, the mother or father feels disappointed and wants to show the child how bad the mistake was that was made and soon after the attacks begin, words are spoken that in the end just cause more pain and suffering for the children.

Here are some examples:

- Your father (or mother) is good for absolutely nothing, see how he just got up and left us?

- He doesn’t want to know anything about you, and then he says he loves you, yeah right!

- He is the worst father and husband in the world, I don’t know how I ever married him

- Now he just wants to know about his new family, he doesn’t even remember you exist anymore.

Listen carefully (or read), kids love their parents with their flaws and mistakes, the same way, just as parents love their children, even when they make mistakes.

Maybe you were betrayed and abandoned, and you feel the pain this brings and lots of anger build up inside, or your even resentful, and you want your kids to feel the same and you want them to be on your side, but we should never plant the seed of hate in a child’s heart, his father will always be his father and the mother the same, and they love you both despite of everything.

To tell them that their father is a good for nothing, that he doesn’t love them, that he doesn’t want to know anything about them, damages your child. Children need both of the parents love and to feel it by both, even if their parents are separated.

Don’t forget your partner may no longer be your husband, but he will never stop being the father of your children. You cannot mix your problems in your marriage with the relationship a mother or father has with their children. You have to put your anger aside and do what’s best to ensure your children’s emotional stability.


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