I am a mother this way and period!

Hi honeys, how are you? Be participative here in the Blog and feel free to leave suggestions for topics you would like discussed or even doubts.

This week I want to share with you something that I have noticed a lot. A person, usually does what she has learned to do and she is what she learned to be. But it does not mean that you have to be that way. If we are not flexible we will not be sensitive to changes; and they are accurate so that we can develop and change. Remember the previous post I talked about being a friend mother? What is it to be a friend?

·      It is someone that understands

·      Respects the child's pain

·      She is solidarity, listens, has patience, trusts and encourages

·      Sits down with the child and talks in an intelligent way

·      Explains to the child about the dangers

·      She doesn’t impose, she guides

·      She tells the truth

Anyway is a vast list... However, many times mothers didn’t receive all of these, then they don’t know, nor strive to give. So they do exactly what others did and what they were to them. But this situation can be reversed if you are humble to recognize and change your way of being and doing things. We are the ones to choose and decide who we want to be. For I speak to some people who say: “well that's what I received, so that's what I’ve to give. Since I have not received, I will not give!” I will give you a very clear example in regards to this. My paternal grandfather was extremely strict with my father. He was selfish and even a little bad. Maybe it was what he received from his father, and so he decided to be with his child, who is my father. My grandfather was a very cold person, distant, he was a nurse so I can imagine how he was with his patients. On the other hand, my grandmother who was also a nurse died when my father was still a child. He was only 10 years old; a very difficult age to be without a mother. Even more, he had such a father! I can imagine his pain, the trauma of losing, and having to turn around in life.

He had every reason in the world to be the same with me and my sister Tania, but he chose to be different, and he was entirely different from his father. He was and still is a great friend and father, protector, always willing to help, and always gave us the best. He is the living example that we have the power of decision of our choices. It’s up to us to be who we strive to be. It is much easier to say that no one does it or it doesn’t happen, because nobody did to us, and were not there for us, than to neutralize such thoughts and feelings; then do and be totally different. It is also an opportunity, since we did not receive, we want to give all of us!

Think if you’ve been doing only your duty, or you’ve been going beyond! If it helped you or you identified yourself with it, leave here your comments; because we learn from each other. Sweets kisses. 

Catia Rubim