Thursday, 7 September 2017

The story of my life 9: "A mistake I made"

I was a very emotional young woman and it really messed up my spiritual life. I cried for nothing. I was indeed very sentimental! If I were to idealize something and it did not happen exactly as I had imagined, that was already a source of sadness. I think I made high expectations about certain people and situations and when it did not come out as I expected it was like a bucket of cold water on me. And the only way I knew how to deal with it was by being emotional. I always cried because of my dilemmas. Sometimes I got angry at myself.

I did not like being this way. I wanted to be stronger, more secure and determined but I did not know how. Going to church was always very helpful. The teachings, the strong prayers and being able to talk to God expressing everything that was happening inside of me was something liberating. However I did not know how to speak to God as I should. I did not know how to use my faith! In my prayers I tried to make God sensitive; I wanted Him to feel sorry for me and then answer me. Since I was very emotional, I wanted to use emotions before God.

I thought that if I cried during my prayers, God as a loving father, would be sensitive to my suffering. How wrong I was! God needed to see my faith and not my tears, but I did not know that. As long as I used emotion I could not be sure of the answer. I made this mistake until I learned that God is faith and we approach Him through faith. Even though He is a loving and merciful Father, we need to manifest our belief through our faith. When I started doing that, things worked out so much better.

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6

Have you ever made this mistake? Share your experience with us. In the next post I will write about a very important decision I made at the time. I’ll be waiting for all of you!


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