I cannot forgive

If you were offered a very good meal, that even makes your mouth water, but you knew it would make you sick, harm your stomach to the point of having to go to the hospital, would you eat it anyway?

Of course not, you would avoid not going through pain and suffering later, the result would not be worth it, right?

The same goes for forgiveness, you have a lot of anger towards a person, feeling hatred and not being able to forgive her.

Except that this bad feeling is inside of you, gnawing at your heart, hurting you and causing problems in your spiritual life, its killing you slowly, but you keep it as a treasure. The person you hate is not hurting with this at all; your hatred only hurts you.

So why keep feeding and guarding something that does you so much bad, that prevents you from even having the presence of God?

Forgiving does not mean you have to cohabit with the person who mistreated and did horrible things against you, forgiving is you cleaning your heart, keeping pure, wish no ill, just be on top of it all.

You need to make a decision, will you continue to be dead in life, or do you actually want to live?

It is a choice, a decision, just as you protect your body to not get sick, denying many things you like to do or eat, in the same way you have to take care of your interior, sacrificing bad feelings that only bring you harm and alienate you from God's presence.

Perhaps you think that forgiving is being weak, silly, or even betraying yourself. Contrary to what many think, forgiveness does not mean weakness; on the contrary, it shows a lot of strength and at the same time intelligent.

So have you decided? You will do well to yourself if you do it.