"I'm dating a guy for a year now, we get along really well, but when we discuss future plans we never seem to reach an agreement. He wants one thing and I want another, I don't know what to do, I'm afraid to marry him and later on have problems and discussions because of this."
In reality this is a subject that needs to be analyzed, because when your partner doesn't have the same objectives, it's very difficult to maintain harmony in a marriage. Because you'll never reach to an agreement when making decisions.
One wants one thing and the other the complete opposite, imagine if your right leg want to walk one way and your left leg another way, it's impossible, both are united and must walk in the same direction, and at the same speed.
These are some points that both should analyze and evaluate before deciding to get married, I believe these are the most common:
- decide on the number of kids you wish to have, and if you want to have kids
- when a woman wants to work and the husband wants her to stay home and care for their house
- when one wants to work in a different city and the other stay in there hometown.
- when one wants to live nearby the family and the other does not.
- after marriage when one partner wants to continue financially supporting their family and the other doesn't accept that.
If you desire to be together, you must be aware that one of you will have to surrender your dreams, one of you will have to surrender your goals to satisfy the will of the other one and reach an agreement, you will have to be aware that one will have to sacrifice.
If you've already had to put an end to a relationship or even a marriage because of this problem, leave your comment and share your experience with us.
2 comments:
Dear friends
This is really something that we do not focus on so much in a relationship. I've been dating for almost four years now and the reason why it is four years (I'm 26 and he is 28) is for the simple reason that our future plans were not in sync. I had my expectations and he had his, but they were not the same. This always brought unnecessary arguments between us, especially in the last year. We need to make decisions and ask. We need to be clear on our plans from the beginning to avoid problems. We can try to compromise but if things do not work out, if we're going in totally different directions it is better to quit while we can. Most of all, we need to talk. That is why communication is so important in a relationship. We need to talk and share ideas and make 100% sure we are always on the same page when it comes to our future.
God bless you all.
Whaliza
Dear friends
This is really something that we do not focus on so much in a relationship. I've been dating for almost four years now and the reason why it is four years (I'm 26 and he is 28) is for the simple reason that our future plans were not in sync. I had my expectations and he had his, but they were not the same. This always brought unnecessary arguments between us, especially in the last year. We need to make decisions and ask. We need to be clear on our plans from the beginning to avoid problems. We can try to compromise but if things do not work out, if we're going in totally different directions it is better to quit while we can. Most of all, we need to talk. That is why communication is so important in a relationship. We need to talk and share ideas and make 100% sure we are always on the same page when it comes to our future.
God bless you all.
Whaliza
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