Christian Dating Series 13- The difference in education level

“There is a helper that is responsible for the youth group of the church. I’ve always liked to participate, give ideas, and later I became an assistant to him in the group. The problem is he likes me. I’ve examined him carefully and I’ve noticed how dedicated he is. I’ve allowed God to show me if he is the right person for me or not. The only thing that worries me a bit is in regards to our different education levels. I have a higher education level, since I graduated from college. I would like to know how to deal with the difference of education level between us, which can be intimidating for men.”

Now a days this can be a common situation, women study, have their careers and establish themselves in the work force. Of course that this can bring some problems in a marriage. When a woman have an academic establishment and her husband does not, or even if she makes more money than him and has a higher position in the professional world. What to do when she has the “financial power”?

There are a few factors to keep in mind and both partners should be aware of the barriers they will have to overcome. This isn’t to diminish any profession as all are important, but the differences can definitely cause some arguments in the future.

1- You have to make sure you are okay with being with someone who has a lower education level than yours or even an inferior cultural level

2- You need to keep in mind that even if your salary is higher than your husbands you should never use that to humiliate him or to want to have control of the relationship and the finances, and have the mentality that you have the right to do so because of your higher contribution to your household.

3- The more a couple unites their strength for a project, the greater their capacity shall be, especially to overcome the criticism from other, which always occur.

4- When you have to get together with friends you can also feel ashamed of him, and he can possibly not want to join you to certain places as he won’t feel comfortable in your group of friends, because he’ll feel out of place because he won’t be able to hold a conversation with them.

5- The day to day differences can also affect one another, the way you are, the way you act, habits, because it’s many things that unite you or separate you from each other. Both of you will need to understand and respect each other.

6- See if you will admire him and be proud to introduce him as your husband.

7- If you to consider if he is willing to live with a woman who makes more money than he does, because for many men that can be humiliating, seeing that they have the culture and habit of being the main provider for their family, plus this makes them feel in control.

8- Future conversations can come up in regards to the different contributions and different salaries being made by each one. Arguments such as “ I pay this so…” can begin to come up. All these things begin to chip away at the relationship, especially when there is a fight for control.

From a spiritual point of view, in which both of you are of God, there is no problem, but both of you should be aware of all the things that you will have to deal with day in and day out and see if you are truly ready to face so many struggles. They may seem like small details, but we need to be aware of them, because it still determines if you are compatible or not.