Christian Dating Series 3- should I say something or not?

“ Hi Mrs. Tania, there is this guy who is my friend, we constantly talk, but we’ve never talked about us, and I like him. I’ve thought about talking to him about how I feel but I fear that I will be “devaluing” myself as a woman. What do you advise?”

Should I say something or not? That is the question! We are used to it always being the man who takes the initiative, the one who declares his love for the girl, but if you’re the one who likes him, how to act in this kind of situation?

This depends on the person faith and the way they are, individually. If you love someone and have faith and courage to express how you feel, then by all means go ahead. I don’t see that as something which devalues you as a woman. Do it with respect, and sincerity, if you don’t say anything how will he ever know? Surely he can’t guess.

Saying or expressing how you feel is not embarrassing, and it doesn’t mean that you are diminishing yourself.

Now… there is a but! What I do believe devalues a woman is when she insinuates herself to a man, offering herself to him, and laying herself out him. Some women do this, because they don’t have the courage to say how they feel and so they try everything to get their attention, they send seductive gestures with their eyes so much so that it seems as if she wants to eat him, she speaks loud so he’ll hear her, laughs uncontrollably, and all with the intention of getting his attention of any which way or form, she even becomes indiscreet. This is very ugly, indiscreet and devalues your image completely. These actions just make the man believe you are offering yourself to him.

So in these situations it’s better to act with discretion and in place of showing your feelings in the wrong way, tell the guy how you feel about him and be honest with him, but be prepared, the worst that could happen is for him to say no. At this point if he doesn’t feel the way you do then you can decide your life in a different direction and not waste time with illusions that there might be a future when in fact there isn’t.

If he corresponds to how you feel then, then allow him to take the initiative from there on, he should have to conquer you, invite you to go out, be attentive to the small details, call you and the things that follow. Don’t forget that men are hunters and they have the need to conquer, let him do his part.